August Falls Apart
What do you do when everything you know changes? When the person you most relied on isn't there anymore? When the place you grew up in isn't your home? August takes a hard look at stepping outside your comfort zone, and growing up.
Today is Jane's birthday, and not just any birthday, it's her 12th birthday. The year her parents promised she could get her ears pierced. She can't wait to show off to everyone at school. She's so excited, she almost wants to rush through her favorite breakfast of chocolate chip pancakes just so they can hurry up and get to the mall! Almost ... until breakfast becomes more than a birthday celebration, and instead disintegrates into another war between her sister and her mother.
But it's not that easy. Mom won't snap out of it. Lizzie is not the sister that Jane knows anymore. She accuses her of "being one of them" and "not understanding," like Jane doesn't feel the pressure of always being perfect. Like Jane doesn't know how hard her parents push. Then it gets so much worse, and the ambulance is here, and they are taking Lizzie away.
The next weeks are a blur. Lizzie is gone, hospitalized for her eating disorder. Her parents are shells: beautiful, perfect, and hollow. Her mother has almost disappeared, and her father is trying to pick up the slack. But how? When Lizzie comes home, it almost seems like things could get back to normal, but Lizzie is different. She is angry and bitter, sarcastic. Jane doesn't know what to think when Lizzie promises to teach her "new diet tricks" she learned in the hospital.
And then she is gone. Lizzie is gone. There is a hole where Lizzie used to be. There is no end to the tears. There is no end to the grief. There is only pain. Then the sun rises on another day. And another. It seems the world can continue without Lizzie, but can Jane?
"She sets the vase on my desk. 'This is for you, ' she says. 'They reminded me of your family. Out of one stem, four white blossoms.' I see what she means. All four roses are growing from one stem. The largest is pure white in full bloom. Ethel points to it.
'That there's your dad.' Then she points to the second largest rose. It is a bud halfway opened with some pink running through the petals. "And this one's your mama.
'That's you Jane.' Ethel indicates a tight bud with pink all around the outer petals and white on the inner petals. It is just beginning to flutter open on the edges. 'Just beginning to bloom.' There is only one rose left. It's a bloom in the early stages of opening, but it has already begun to die. The edges of the white rose have turned to parchment. It is frozen forever midbloom.
I touch the rose gently. No fear of killing this flower. 'Lizzie,' I whisper," (Lytton pg. 137, 2009).
If you liked this, check out:
Lytton, Deborah A. (2009). Jane in Bloom. New York, NY: Dutton Children's Books.
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