Butter by Erin Jade Lange

It's another day, and "Butter" (or at least that's what everyone calls him - including himself) is surrounded by his normal snacks: M&Ms, ice cream, Doritos, and a meatball sub, to name a few. He hears the story of a woman who looks to weigh about 90 pounds telling the reporter self-righteously that she thinks it's perfectly fair for overweight people to have to pay for two tickets on planes. "Why should the rest of us have to share the seats we paid for with people who can't lay off the snacks before dinner?" (Lange pg. 4, 2012).

At 16 years old, he is over 400 pounds. Ostracized at school, tiptoed around at home, depressed, isolated..the only thing that brings him any solace is his saxaphone. And Anna. He logs on to chat, and there she is: but he knows even that isn't all true. He told her he goes to private school, and refuses to send her a picture or meet up with her.  Anna goes to his school, and if she knew who "J.P." really was, she wouldn't give him the time of day.

It's all too much. He decides to end it all. He creates a webpage: butterslastmeal.com. On New Year's Eve, he's going to eat himself to death, live via webcam. That's what they all want anyway, right? It started as almost a joke, but the next day the comments just keep coming and coming. At school, people come up to him asking if he's for real. The popular kids adopt his cause. He creates a password for the site, and they spread the rumor that it's all a joke. Pretty soon he's sitting at the table with the jocks. They're all discussing what he'll be eating, making bets and almost acting like he's one of the guys. Almost...

As the day approaches, Butter visits his doctor. He needs to find out if eating himself to death is even possible. His diabetes is definitely a factor, and his allergy to strawberries. The doc unwittingly gives him some tips. The days pass and no one tells a teacher, no one tries to stop him, no one asks him if he really wants to go through with it. It's a new form of bullying: egging on the self harm.

His family won't really care. His dad quit talking to him long ago, and his mom only know how to communicate through food. This is better for everyone. He's going to do it. He's made up his mind. Everyone at school has made it clear they aren't going to stop him. Can he really go through with it?

This is a disturbing look at peer pressure, and the lengths we go to fit in. In our media saturated society, our youth are being raised in a world where the internet is the norm. Aesthetics are given a high priority, and in Butter's case, sometimes over a life. Lange writes a believable narrative about a boy in pain, just trying to fit in, and the lengths he's willing to go to do it.

*Library Link*

"My chest went hot. Didn't these guys realize I was going to kill myself? This wasn't a game.
Then it occured to me; maybe they did think it was a game. Maybe they couldn't wrap their brains around the fact that the big kid they'd befriended was actually going to go away. Maybe they thought the whole thing was a joke to begin with, but a crazy enough joke that they admired it and wanted to be friends with the prankster who was pulling it off. Mayber they were just playing along, with menu items and bets and bucket lists, because ButtersLastMeal.com was still the hot topic for everyone who mattered at Scottsdale High.
Maybe," (Lange, pg. 136, 2012).

If you liked this, check out:

Skinny by Donna Cooner
Break by Hannah Moskowitz
Staying Fat for Sarah Byrnes by Chris Crutcher

Lange, Erin J. (2012). Butter. New York: Bloomsbury.